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03-Aug-2016 18:37

I was going to write about something else today -- I have a couple of big-concept posts I've been meaning to write up and get around to -- but, heck, the last post I put up was a big-concept post so I figured let's have a quick breather from that and get something a little lighter up first. I've been all too guilty of this myself -- sending super-long messages.This topic came up as I got to an email from a reader. And what I found was that I was often disappointed -- I'd put all this time and effort into a monster of a message, and then... There are a bunch of lessons I eventually took away from those experiences that I'll share with you today.A very well-spoken and clearly an educated guy, he sent me a message detailing a situation with a girl he knew... The basic gist of today's post is, basically, that this -- what we're about to talk about -- is how you write online dating messages and emails that don't get ignored...and, in fact, get you exactly what you want: responses, phone numbers, dates, and success.Much like dating in the real world, online dating presents an almost infinite number of ways to shoot yourself in the foot and kill your chances before you even get started.Much like in the real world, first impressions count for everything; in online dating, women have even way of contacting someone: the wink, poke, nudge, smile, flirt function.

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You may think this applies only to men looking for women, or folks trying to attract someone a bit out of their league – but that isn’t so. Most captivating subject line in that assortment goes to…the guy who wrote “86”, I guess? I’ve just gone from spending 10-30 seconds on your email and probably not even looking at your profile to a few minutes thinking about you. But you gotta handle the second email just right (for suggestions, follow the link). A third email is a little too Bates Motel for Olivia’s tastes.It’s a joke and, as we all know, people like people who make them laugh. I can fix your computer, landscape your backyard and probably even hotwire your car, but, for some reason, Ti Vo programming seems to elude me as well. Playing it safe is fine, but if an attractive person has dozens, if not hundreds, of options, you need to shake things up a little bit to break through the clutter. Interesting piece, which I’ll have to parse at length when I have the time…but it leads me to throw out a theory I’ve been kicking around.Now that you’ve had a week or two to write up your profile and dip your toe into the world of online dating, it’s time to take a step back and take stock. Even a terse “Fuck off, cave troll” means that at least you’re being heard. It’s one of those times that makes you feel like you’re ready to scrap the whole idea and try your hand in places where you might have more success…But now that you’ve had some time to try things out…

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